she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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