You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
