it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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