the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I love having hate sex.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
