my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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