she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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