Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize