I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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