I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize
