it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
