when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I need to calm my uterus...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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