Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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