You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize