So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
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Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
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He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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