When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize