She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
