Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
