I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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