Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
