Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
