I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
