I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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