Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
