4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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