i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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