Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
