I CAN MOONWALK!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
