I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize