i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
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Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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