I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
