he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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