we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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