We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
