Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
