I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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