I cockslap morals
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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