just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
