Moan for me like Helen Keller
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
whose ass print is on the piano?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize