Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
