The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i came on her dog
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Randomize
