OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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