You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
