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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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