I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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