I want to walk on stilts...naked
he thought i was a dude.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
