i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
