Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
