She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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