he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
