your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
