I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize