Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
