You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize