PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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