who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
operation harelip BJ is a go
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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