Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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