Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
