I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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