running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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