She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
being pregnant is like rehab
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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