you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
