my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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