I have demons in me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
