She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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