I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
