it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
