Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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